The Advice when starting out in BDSM: where to start?
Before getting into the thick of it, take a moment to talk to your partner. There are a few topics you need to talk about, and a frank and open exchange of ideas will not only give you the freedom to play BDSM, but will also allow you to avoid awkward situations. That is why we suggest you devote some time to it.
First, define your fantasies
BDSM is different for everyone. Fantasies on this subject can be very different. Something that may seem like an uplifting experience to us may be totally unacceptable to our partner. Identifying your fantasies and ideas about sex and BDSM play will help you find common ground and it will facilitate your future conversations.
A list of practices you want to try
Talking about your BDSM-related sexual fantasies isn’t just going to get to know your partner better. You can also choose together which ones you would like to try in the near future. Prepare a “start list” of fantasies that you and your partner can choose or accept. The list of BDSM practices is extensive and you don’t have to try everything from the start.
A list of things you don’t want to try yet
In BDSM, it’s as important to know the things that you are OK with trying and the games that you don’t want to try. Blockages and barriers are natural, especially for couples who are new to a BDSM relationship. So make a list of these things together and avoid them during the session. Setting and respecting boundaries will also help you build comfort and mutual trust, so stick to the list.
A security keyword
The list of things you accept and the list of things you want to avoid will prepare you mentally to play BDSM. Unfortunately, especially at the beginning, even though you have prepared and accepted something, you may feel uncomfortable, threatened, or in pain. In such moments, a keyword comes to the rescue, a word that, when spoken, will immediately end the scene. The keyword in BDSM called “safeword” can be anything you want, but it’s worth choosing a rather original one like “glasses” that is different from the typical words spoken during sex like “stopped”. “Or” stop “.
A sincere conversation, agreeing on what turns you on and what you don’t want to try, these are the basics to get started. If until now BDSM has remained only in your realm of shy dreams, because you didn’t know how to start, our tips should make it easier for you to start your BDSM adventure. Don’t be afraid to experiment, push your limits, and discover new sources of pleasure. If you start and at least once you manage to achieve pleasure in this type of game, your sex life will gain a new face.
Do you need BDSM accessories?
The books in the “50 Shades of Gray” series and the film adaptations that followed sent a strong message. BDSM is first and foremost about whips, ropes, bands, riding crops, feathers, and other erotic toys used to inflict not only pain but also pleasure. But do you need some gadgets to start your BDSM adventure? No, you don’t have to incur unnecessary expenses to get started.
First of all, you don’t know if the clash between imagination and reality will turn out to be something that will really give you pleasure and diversify your relationship. BDSM can turn out to be a whim, which is not for you, and in that case, it would be a shame to drain your wallet by a few hundred dollars.
Second, it’s much better to use what you already have on hand at the start of your adventure. A tie with which you can tie your hands to the bed or cover your eyes. A belt with which you can spank the submissive person. When you’re ready to bring in some BDSM accessories, head to online sex shops to simply order yours.