YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE COMPASSION FOR A SUBMISSIVE
In order not to fall into compassion, one must be as aware as possible of how the mind of submissive works, his need to surrender, to be used, to be at the disposal of the Master’s pleasure even above his own pleasure. You have to go into their psychology to understand that true submissive do not ask for compassion unless their tendency is Domination from below ( see Domination from below ).
That compassion should not occur does not mean at all that the Dominant is not taking care of the submissive throughout the session, that is a Dominant’s duty and a submissive’s right, to safeguard his physical and mental integrity above all else. Respect for their limits (see The edges of the limits. ) And the safety words must be the guarantor of this, as long as we do not find people who do not know or are not right in the head and end up causing mistreatment that is not at all It is Bdsm. (See Bdsm Paradoxes: Agreements, Not Abuse.)
The Dominant’s compassion must be circumscribed to the aftercare, only, at that time he must act with absolute compassion, take care of him, attend him, heal him, listen to him and do everything possible for the submissive to restore the balance of his emotions and restore what has affected to your body, allowing time for the hormonal flow to normalize and restore itself as best as possible depending on the intensity of the session.
Each person is a different world and each Dominant plays or is involved in very different ways depending on the particular characteristics of the Dominant himself and the person with whom he is playing or with whom he is in session. In my opinion, the more emotional distancing with the submissive, during the session, the more mental clarity, the more control of the Dominant’s own emotions, the better the performance in the session. I am not saying that the Dominant becomes an automaton at all, but he should not sympathize but keep a cool head. This allows you to assess the game, change dynamics, practices, observe how the sub evolves in the session so that both complement each other in the most enriching way possible.
The submissive throughout the session will generate a multiplicity of physical and emotional responses to his / her Master. If there is a previous link or it is generated at the time of the game or the session, the submissive will move an enormous load of feelings towards those who Dominate him, not only because of his need, fantasy, or desire for submission but also because of the hormonal reactions that are triggered from the different practices of the session. For this reason, they speak of surrender, dependence, or adoration. This can be punctual or continuous in time, beyond the session itself depending on the type of relationship that exists.
The Master also generates different emotions towards the submissive during the session as feedback, although rationality prevails and should be imposed. I have spoken with quite a few submissive males who hope to feel and see the pleasure of the Mistress at the moment of her surrender, that Una is self-controlled does not imply that there cannot be a pleasure, both mental and physical.
There are Dominants (of course both men and women, I emphasize on this occasion) with relationships in which that partner is submissive who do not feel the ability to Dominate her, they are compassionate with her. In this way, the Dominant must look for submissives outside the couple, and, in turn, his submissive partner must look for a Master. It can be paradoxical for people who are outside of Bdsm at this point, even for quite a few who fantasize about the idea of a complete couple within this sphere, the fact that at a certain moment in the relationship when love appears, it hinders the D / s relationship. . That is the complexity of human relationships and its extraordinary richness.
In our opinion, in Femdom this emotional distancing and lack of compassion must be even more pronounced. Here we already enter into gender issues that must be taken with the logical personal exception of each one. The submissives tend, the vast majority, to be very sexual, the submissives tend to be more emotional. The submissive will expect more harshness from the Mistress, the submissive more empathy. The Mistress is the one who must regulate her distancing based on the type of submissive she submits to, her previous experiences in submission, her character, her gender. All of this should be taken into account so that everyone can experience Domination with the maximum personal development possible.